I’m going to need you to read this very carefully.
Well, firstly let me just isolate all the men who actually read my stuff for just a moment.
This doesn’t concern you.
This concerns my fellow women.
And this isn’t going to be pretty, neither is it going to be pain-free.
But some shit that my friend said the other day really bothered me and I am sure she is not alone in this thinking hence, I will address it.
It went something along the lines of saying that if she didn’t get married by a certain age, she would ‘settle’ for whoever she was with at the time. I am paraphrasing here but that was the general gist of it.
Let me just say that my friend is deliciously beautiful in more ways than one so I didn’t understand where this thinking had even stemmed from.
Now a woman who sits around waiting for someone to validate her existence is practically dead.
I am sorry to break it to you, honey.
But it’s true.
I am no saint, I am no God, and I don’t have to be, in order to speak a universal truth. I am merely a soul looking to reconnect with myself.
The number one way we lose ourselves is by leaving ourselves to find happiness in someone who can never give it to us. It’s not their fault, it’s ours for realising that it is not the responsibility of anyone other than ourselves to make us happy.
As I tell you this I am telling myself as well.
I have been telling myself this for many years and let me tell you till now some days it’s 10x harder than it was when I first started.
This shit is not easy.
We are constantly looking for things outside of ourselves to fill our huge gaping voids that are a result of our childhood traumas.
I don’t care who you are or how great your childhood may have been, you have in some shape or form experienced trauma by simply existing on planet earth.
As women, we are raised to believe that we need a partner in order to be happy.
The truth is you need YOU to make you happy and until you do that you will attract less than what you want, less than what you dreamed of and less than what you actually deserve. And eventually, you know what happens? You settle into a life and relationship where you slowly wither and decay, never having tasted the body of true joy or love.
As women, we have rotted away for far too long into lives that were too small for us, too boring for us, too mediocre for us, too abusive for us, and too painful for us. Don’t be another woman lost to that hell.
Quit looking for validation in others.
We fool ourselves into believing we want to save someone who hurts us just to distract ourselves from the wounds we should really be healing – OUR OWN.
You are fucking strong enough to do it.
Have you any idea how powerful you are?
You got this.
And before you scream the typical bull and say it’s easy for me to say because I am married, let me stop you right there, I didn’t wake up married, to get to that point took fucking work – 8 years of hard work but even then I don’t need a marriage to validate my existence as a woman!
The day you get into a relationship, do it because YOU want to, not out of loneliness, or out of emotional codependence.
I know that once I give my heart to someone, I will walk through hell a million times for them and I will not give up.
This is how I believe it is supposed to be right?
Love takes real courage and if you wish to attract the person who will alter time and space you must be willing o burn in a fire so intense it just might kill you, you must be willing to be challenged, and so you’d best find the person who is ultimately worth it and if that means being single in order to remain in a space of authenticity, do it. The universe will recognise it and send what you are attracting your way.
The work we have to do in this time is much too great and important to be wasting our time in relationships that are not moving us into and through transcending growth.
Would love to hear from you beautiful women on your stories in regards to relationships/marriage and maybe feeling like you have to settle in the comments below.
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