I could never patiently wait until the 18th came.
And often found myself wishing days away just so the 18th would come quickly.
What was even better than the 18th, was when the 18th fell on a weekend or on a Monday which meant that pay day would fall on the Friday or the Saturday before.
It was as if I couldn’t live life fully until this day came.
The automatic transfer of my pay cheque hitting my bank account was so satisfying. Not because I worked extremely hard for it but because it meant I was no longer broke.
It meant that all those weekdays of waking up early in the morning amounted to something worthwhile. It compensates for the crap I dealt with, or so I thought.
I could go out for dinners with my friends, go shopping, buy lunch instead of bringing lunch into work and most importantly I could pay off any outstanding bills or debts. We’ve worked so hard, we think we deserve it.
I lived for this day!
Halfway into the month, not much is left. But it’s okay, another 15 days left, we justify.
I remember the very first salary I ever received. I was 16 and worked at Marks and Spencer. I worked during the summer and on Saturdays. I loved that job. I got paid £326, which I now know is not much but at the time I felt like P.Diddy. I felt so mature. With the amount, I remember doing a big food shop for my family in Safeway, which is now called Morrisons.
I was so happy because for the first time I was able to buy something for them with “my” hard-earned money. I then of course treated myself to a top at Topshop, which at the time was such a big deal for a girl of my age!!
Since then I have had multiple pay cheques.
Too many to even count.
Pay cheques that have grown in digits over the years.
Pay cheques that have paid for many holidays, clothes, gifts, bills and so forth.
But none of them have ever bought me the same happiness I felt when I received my first pay cheque.
The more I got paid, the more I would spend on myself in an attempt to mask the unhappiness I felt having to get up every single morning for a job I was no longer happy in.
All in the name of a pay cheque.
That freedom I once felt from getting paid, gradually became non-existent. It became a burden to me. I had sacrificed so much of myself for this pay cheque, that I no longer felt deserving of it and carelessly frittered it away.
Now that the 18th is creeping up and I haven’t received a pay cheque for the last 4 months, it has encouraged me to recount my feelings, so I never forget in the future.
If I could rewind the last 5 years, this is everything I would tell my 22-year-old self about making money and receiving a salary. It would have been harsh, but I needed it, and it would have saved me a ton of heartache.
What do you feel when it’s payday? Are you happy? Excited? Relieved? Indifferent?
“If you buy things you do not need, soon you will have to sell things you do need” – Warren Buffet
Please share and subscribe below.
Be happy. x