The great unknown…..

I’ve made a lot of questionable decisions in my life, and I’ve had to live with a fair amount of doubt about them as a result. I can’t even imagine what life must be like for people who are not constantly filled with uncertainty or anxiety about the choices they’ve made or are about to make. How is that possible? I wonder. How do they go through the day without wondering whether they should have gotten the coat in black instead if grey, or if they should have accepted that job offer instead of taking time to find themselves. And I know that I’m not alone. I get a lot of Just Wondering questions about this very topic: Is it normal to not have any idea what I want to do in life? How do I develop interests and passions? What if I do this and it messes up my entire life? Of course, other people – like friends and especially family – love to give us their unsolicited opinions on these matters, often pressuring us to do one thing or another.

When I told my mum that I was going to take a break from work on a trip around the world, after 3 years being unfulfilled, she completely freaked out: What was I planning to do for money? How is she going to keep getting the rent money I pay her? I had no idea. I will figure it out, I told her. I will be fine! And I am, just that – fine! In fact I’m great, the happiest I have been for a while! For the first time in my life, I saw a lion, well actually several lions, it was such a humbling and amazing experience – WOW!!!

There were just as many scary, am-I-going-to-be-able-to-pay-my-bills parts as there were awesome fun parts, and I found myself wondering if I made the right decision a lot.  But doubt can be a good thing!  It means you’re thinking seriously about what you want, and thinking about it is one of the first steps towards figuring it out!