Yesterday was a rough night.
And as much as I want to ignore what happened, I simply cannot.
I cried all the way home.
I had managed to push back the tears all evening, until the streams burst, from trying to hold it in so much.
I’m sure I am not the only person this has ever happened to?
I was attending a friend’s event and she was singing about pain.
Her voice touched me in places, where I didn’t even know I was hurt.
I hate crying.
Not because people would think that I was weak or anything but because for me I feel like crying doesn’t solve anything.
This time though the release of these tears gave me peace.
It gave me comfort.
It felt like coming home to myself after years of being away.
Even retelling this story to you now, letting you into my world; it is like we are home together.
Sometimes life can be very painful.
Sometimes, I don’t even know how to breathe through the sadness when it comes.
Life can hurt so much that I know that these words that I am writing can’t fully echo my emotions.
Some days it is too difficult to stand because the pain runs deep.
But it’s a comforting feeling to know I have someone willing to hold my feet in their lap on days like this.
A person who hears me even when I do not speak, ‘cause my struggle is felt in their struggle.
I really thank God for my husband, I can’t believe I get to come home to him.
As I look at him, and how far we have journeyed, I suddenly feel a wave of contentment.
No matter how much we try to disguise it, we all have been through some pain.
Sometimes the pain is so severe, it feels as though you have been through fire.
The thing is, though, dark days will always come, and that’s okay. What is important, is for us to not get lost in those days.
When I stopped despising the pain that was in my life I realised this pain is what was creating life in me.
It taught me how to stand again with greater strength, how to fight with greater power, and how to endure things I never thought I was capable of enduring.
Writing and journaling encourages me to face my truth head on and shift anything that no longer serves a purpose in my life.
It pushes me to show up in the most honest way possible while I journey.
I made a promise to not ignore my feelings and to address them head on – despite what they look like, or how uncomfortable they make me. That alone shows strength and courage and the ability to grow.
I am not afraid of my truth anymore and I will not omit pieces of me to make anyone comfortable.
My truest and greatest wish is to spark a light in the lives of others.
So do not be silenced by your sadness or joy, upsets or overcoming. You are allowed to feel how you feel without feeling uncertain or guilty.
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