For me, there is no better way than to start the year on here with a Scripture Sunday.
This one will be different from my usual Scripture Sundays because I feel like I have to explain myself before I delve into the post.
The question ultimately that people have been asking me both online and offline is ‘Do you still write on Asklychee?’
The answer is yes to put it simply. But the real answer is that I no longer wanted to share.
As soon as I became a mum, yes I had my hands full, but ultimately the sort of person I am is that no matter how busy I get if something is a priority I always give it time. Asklychee was a priority. What I found, however, was that I wanted to protect not just myself but my son from the world. And the only way I knew how to do this was just to keep quiet, to hide and to go into my usual introverted self.
You see the thing is, that there are steps that people go through in life (not always and not necessarily in this order) but more often than not people go to school, graduate from university, start a career buy a house,, get married, have children and so forth. As I was going through these steps myself (and not necessarily in that order I stress again) – I found that people, particularly those online, were putting me in their boxes as to how they think my life should turn out and to be honest, I didn’t care about those boxes because at the end of the day it is just people opinions. It really isn’t that deep. But when it came to people’s opinions on my child and how I should parent I was very aware early on that I didn’t want to be subject to those opinions because they are much harder to ignore. At the end of the day, I am only human.
So I hid.
Emails came in asking various questions that include, but are not limited to the following; did you have an epidural, is it a boy or a girl, how are you going to raise your son as you and your husband have different religious beliefs etc.
Now, if people genuinely cared about my son I would be more than happy to answer these questions, and I have in some cases but honestly (there’s that word again) I just think people use these questions to have an overall picture on how to judge you and what box to put you and I am not here for that at all – particularly when it comes to my child. He is innocent. Also what also became apparent to me offline was that people for some reason think that they could parent better than me. They treated parenthood like some sort of competition, which to me was utterly ludicrous.
So I stopped sharing.
There you go – that’s the real reason.
Now, this post may come across defensive to some of you who are reading it but not everyone is meant to get this post and that’s fine.
What made me now want to start sharing again is that ultimately when I wasn’t writing and sharing, I wasn’t growing creatively and at times this lack of growth frustrated me and to be honest my husband bore the brunt of it which is unfair to him or anyone else I may have taken my frustrations out of.
I use writing as my therapy and time to collate my thoughts and feelings. Also having prayed about it for the last few months, I am trying to become more deliberate in what listening to what God wants for my life and not always what I want.
This year I haven’t set any resolutions rather I have set prayer points to continually pray upon instead.
Casting ourselves at God’s feet in helpless desperation is all well and good – heaven knows, I’ve done it myself plenty of times – but ultimately we’re likely to get more out of the experience if we take some action on our end.
How can we expect God to answer prayer requests we haven’t made – or haven’t made in faith.
Prayer is a relationship, in that half the job is ours and then the rest is up to God. God’s promise to us is “I will never leave you nor forsake you” – Hebrews 13:5-6.
The Bible says, ‘The reason we don’t have what we want is…we don’t ask God’ (James 4:2).
Our request must be in harmony with God’s will. ‘If we ask anything according to His will…He hears’ (1 John 5:14).
I’ve been praying and asking God to give me tolerance, patience, and strength. Those are my three things because I believe that once you have all those things, you worry far less and once you worry less, things start to move in the direction they are supposed to go in. I am only talking from experience here.
I know this isn’t the usual format of a Scripture Sundays (as I said before) but I know someone other than me needs to hear this message.
May God bless you.
Happy Sunday! And we’ll speak soon (more than likely once a week, two if I am being super good!)
P.s I am really excited for 2019! (and yes this feeling will probably wear off but that’s fine)