I have a condition.
It’s not easy for me to admit this but I have this condition that forces me to overthink situations.
I really wish I didn’t have this problem, which I have now come to learn as being a disease, because I tend to miss out on opportunities.
The strange thing is that, I don’t always demonstrate the symptoms for this disease.
The symptoms only really flare up when I want to do something I have never done before.
All of a sudden my thoughts go into overdrive, into depths they have never been. I think of the worse case scenario, the best case scenario and the likelihood of which one would happen to me.
I then think of what people would think, who the decision would impact and then I freeze and ponder on all those thoughts. By the time I finished thinking all these things, the opportunity that I was ‘this’ close to grabbing with both hands, has somehow managed to slip away.
And then I get annoyed with myself like seriously annoyed with myself and end up blaming everybody but myself.
Anyway I digress.
I realised this condition affected me more than I let on, a few weeks before Christmas when I was at home looking for holidays for my youth for Summer 2016 but got slightly distracted and started looking for holidays for myself.
For a long time I had always envisioned being away for Christmas – don’t ask me why but it always looked fun when people on TV did it, so yeah that had been a dream of mine.
Don’t judge me.
I wanted to do it last year but my Babi wanted us to be home for Christmas with my family so I changed my plans. Secretly though I still wanted to get away. So I started looking and I found unbelievable deals – I eventually decided on a BA all inclusive 5* deal in Barcelona for 5 nights for £28. Yes £28!!
I messaged my Babi for his opinion, because I thought it was too good to be true. He gave me his blessing and even offered to pay for it. Then I called my sister and told her about it, she wanted in but didn’t want to buy two tickets in case she wasn’t up for it. All of this process took about 23 minutes. By the time I went to press purchase on the tickets – the price had gone up to £768 each!!!!
I deserved it!
I just can’t help but think, if I didn’t have a tendency to overthink things, I think the story would have been drastically different.
Instead of me to have just gone ahead and booked without seeking permission to do what I wanted to do in the first place.
You live and you learn, I suppose.
Would be interesting to hear about any characteristics you have that can sometimes get the better of you, I know I can’t be the only one 🙂
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