Been meaning to write this for a little while but didn’t know if I was ‘allowed’ to.
And by allowed i simply mean, would people regard my opinion as valid or would I be writing from a position of privilege. I still don’t know the answer to this but it’s been on my mind and so here’s me putting pen to paper.
Let me start off by saying that this is certainly a first world problem and in the grand scheme of it, it ain’t that deep!
You see I have never ever be one to struggle with my weight neither did I ever think I would be that person who does struggle with their weight but here I am.
More often than not we always hear the story about the girl who puts on weight after childbirth and struggles to lose it. That’s a normal narrative and not something I take lightly. I am sure most women can relate here.
The narrative I want to now explore is one that’s a little deeper than this.
I can’t remember the last time I was truly in love with my body. For me it’s not about being a particular frame, weight or size it’s about the complete picture. And genuinely I have just not been ‘feeling’ myself. There’s been that odd occasion in the last 2/3 years where I seriously would chirpse me if I wasn’t me but those occasions have been few and far between. It’s affected how often I want to take pictures because whenever I think I look good the picture always tells a different story.
Before I buy new clothes I seriously have to consider if this is going to flatter my body or simply accentuate all the areas of my body I feel insecure about. This is new territory because I could pull off just about anything (except for the colour red)!
I am not sure why am writing this other than to just communicate that I am going through a period of insecurity and I seriously can’t wait for this season to past but for now I am just trying to be comfortable in my skin.
This is not a post to seek validation because any insecurities I have ever had has always come from within, rather it is a post to simply remind myself and maybe others that there are going to periods where you’re not going to feel like yourself and sometimes those periods last longer than you think BUT it’s only a period.
Lots of love