This is not going to be a popular post.
But it needs to be said.
I know it is quite common nowadays to fall victim to cyber bullying especially for those people who are actually making movements in their lives and others just tend to hate. (secretly wishing they were them).
Wait I am getting to the point now.
So I was having dinner the other day with my husband and a friend and she had just fallen victim to ‘cyber bullying’. She had been called fat after posting a video online. This comment really seemed to get her down, despite her not even knowing the person. And I will be honest with you, it kinda pissed me off the way she let it get to her because she wasn’t fat at all. So why did she take it so personally?
It then made me think of times when I take things personally when in fact I shouldn’t have. And I am sure we all can relate to this.
The thing is though, we need to stop taking things so personally, especially if it has come from a stranger or someone we don’t even care about.
Let me try explain it to you using an example from a book I read called the Four Agreements:
“If I see you on the street and I say, ” Hey, you’re so stupid,” without knowing you, it’s not about you; it’s about me. If you take it personally, then perhaps you believe you are stupid. Maybe you think to yourself, “How does she know? Is she clairvoyant, or can everybody see how stupid I am?”
You take it personally because you agree with whatever was said.
As soon as you agree, the poison goes through you, and you are trapped in the dream of hell.
What causes you to be trapped? I hear you say.
Taking things personally.
This is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about “me.”
During our lifetime we have been educated, or even domesticated, to take everything personally. We think we are responsible for everything. Me, me, me, always me!
But that’s a lie.
A big one.
Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.
All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in.
When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.
Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you.
What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the shit they made up in their own minds. Or worse yet, the shit they have been forced to believe.
It is no longer important to me what you think about me, and I don’t take what you think personally.
I don’t take it personally when people say, “Linda, you are the best,” and I also don’t take it personally when they say, “Linda, you are the worst”.
I know that us human beings are so fickle, one minute you hate Beyoncé, the next minute you love her (me personally I have always loved her, not just because of Lemonade).
Either way, it does not affect me because I know what I am. I know WHO I am.
I don’t have the need to be accepted. I no longer have the need to have someone tell me, “Linda, you are doing so well!” or “How dare you do that!”
No, I don’t take it personally. Whatever you think, whatever you feel, I know is your problem and not my problem. It is the way you see the world.
Your point of view is something personal to you. It is no one’s truth but yours.
Whatever people do, feel, think, or say don’t take it personally.
If they tell you how wonderful you are, they are not saying that because of you. You know you are wonderful. It is not necessary to believe other people who tell you that you are wonderful.
Wherever you go you will find people lying to you, and as your awareness grows, you will notice that you also lie to yourself. Do not expect people to tell you the truth because they also lie to themselves.
You have to trust yourself and choose to believe or not to believe what someone says to you.
When we really see other people as they are without taking it personally, we can never be hurt by what they say or do.
Even if others lie to you, it is okay. They are lying to you because they are afraid. They are afraid you will discover that they are not perfect.”
As you make a habit of not taking anything personally, you won’t need to place your trust in what others do or say. And when you truly understand this and refuse to take things personally, you can hardly be hurt by the careless comments or actions of others.
Lots of hugs and kisses.
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