Can I be honest?
Working from home has been hard. My emotions seem to be all over the place.
Covid-19 has transformed life around the world. And for me, professionally, it’s amplified some insecurities.
Now that my whole company is working from home, there’s a whole new cadence to adapt to — without the benefit of being in the same space as the people who I would usually swivel my chair and turn to.
Often I wonder: Is it enough? Am I being counterproductive? Is there more expected of me since I’m working from home, rather than in an office?
It can activate a preexisting impostor syndrome — like I’m underperforming or I don’t belong in my seat, and it’s only a matter of time before the jig is up.
What makes this imposter syndrome even worse, is that I am a mum of a toddler, so constantly there’s that feeling that I often have to overachieve to prove that I am just as competent before I became a mother.
There’s something about not being in the same setting as your colleagues — regardless of some of the annoying interactions and micro-aggressions that come with it — that can make you feel detached and at times underproductive.
When my impostor syndrome starts to rear its head, I like to revisit some quotes. One particular quote is from Elijah Cummings: “You must have confidence in your competence.”
For me, I found It helps to stay organised by making checklists of daily tasks and deliverables I need to get done, with all of the appropriate goalposts.
I’ve just gotta remember that I’m in this position for a reason, and everything in my career up until this point is more than enough validation. I’ve learned to use those fears of inadequacy as motivation. I just need to test the impostor syndrome, challenge it, and prove it to be untrue. It also helps to look back at past Ws: projects I have run, positive reports from colleagues, the dope campaigns I’ve coordinated. Sometimes you just have to remind yourself who the fuck you are.
Even in times when I’m not so sure of myself. Sure, I’ll fail along the way, but I can fail fast, adjust, and improve. It’s not really about winning or losing; it’s about taking Ls — real or perceived — and turning them into lessons. As long as you’re constantly learning, you can never lose.