I was 20 when I fell in love. It eased in; soft, steady and warm. It wrapped me in its arms and took me higher than I had ever been before in my entire life. The real thing will do that to you. I touched the clouds that day. I kissed the stars, worshipped the moon, and stared the sun dead in its glowing face and said thank you. You were finally here! Unprepared but determined to make this love work. To have a love better than the love my parents had.
I’m 28 now. Married. Financially free. Genuinely fulfilled by my career as a storyteller, project manager and truth-telling advocate.
I’m blessed and I’m proud of myself for becoming better for him, and myself. For not believing that my love life was over before it began because I was the product of a single parent household. I wanted to be more than my circumstances.
I don’t advocate for interfaith marriage… but that’s a part of my story, and I am not ashamed of it. This man, once a boy, changed my life. He makes me better every single day. It took a village (my mum, his mum, my family, his family, our friends + God) to love on us and help us get to the light at the end of our tunnel.
I knew – to the tips of my toes, to the top of my head that he was moulded, manifested, and arranged just for me by God. He felt right, always. Even when the storms would come and threaten to flood our crops, he remained consistently in love and fully immersed, mind first and heart second. That’s how I knew, too. My mind was at ease. I could sleep at night.
I’m sharing this because I wanted to give up so badly, I felt I did not deserve this love. Guys, I fought through depression, suicidal thoughts, failures, setbacks, and everything else in between, before making it out alive. Before finding my light.
There’s so many of you who look at me and my relationship and think #goals and sometimes I feel like everyone including myself, wants a successful relationship, but honestly don’t have the discipline or selflessness to be in one. This is NOT easy. These goals took work, tears and more work.
The enemy will get busy, FAST! I’ve never prayed so much in my life to keep me from giving up. I had to show up for myself and my man, fully and intentionally before I saw my efforts come to fruition. Things don’t happen overnight. What we have, we were not worthy of creating but was given to us to take care, protect and inspire by God. Our stories are all different but can help shape and mould ourselves and those around us in the process.
With all that said, don’t be afraid of your truth, EVER. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are not worthy of love, that you’re not ‘allowed’ to love fully. That you can’t grow or succeed because that’s not the truth. YOU KNOW your truth. you can get through what you’re going through—be it big or small.
Sending all my love to all of you especially babi. It was his birthday a few weeks back and I’ve been writing this since then as a keepsake.
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