I’m trying to not always require obedience even though it might be helpful in the moment.
I was raised with obedience first and everything else second.
We were supposed to always stand still.
We weren’t to be seen or heard in the presence of adults. My mum was a single mother in a rough area, so in her mind, obedience meant safety. It’s what she felt she had to do.
She only spoke to us in directions. And that caused me to grow up not really knowing what I wanted for myself.
I’d even look to other people to tell me what I wanted.
I think deep down that is probably why I stayed in a job I hated for so long.
It was always yes mum, whatever you say.
So it’s no surprise that when I went into the workplace, I let people walk all over me just because they were older than me.
No wonder, now that I know myself and I am more independent, zero fucks are given.
I don’t ever want my child to not think for herself.
I want her to be creative and have freedom of movement.
If that means running in circles, or jumping up and down while she’s eating her grapes, I’ll let her, even if I’m tired. because I spent a good five years stuck. Stuck in a life created for me because my default answer was yes.
Because I spent a good five years stuck. Stuck in a life created for me because my default answer was yes.
For my whole life (well the part that counted) I was obedient. I was so afraid of feeling like I let someone down.
Now to be honest I am not at all bothered.
It’s exhausting being obedient all the time.
Albeit my mum did a great job in laying for me a strong foundation, I think it’s time to finally realise that things will be OK, even if I teach my child to think for themselves from the get-go.
It’s funny because I was chatting to my mum yesterday about this and it dawned on me hence why the above is quite straight to the point – I didn’t want to add fluff to something that needed to be said simply.
Hope it helps someone and even if it doesn’t I hope it helps me when the time comes to raising my children 🙂
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