For the longest time, I led two separate lives: professional Linda and personal Linda.
Professional Linda, only genuinely smiled when she was on lunch or after 6pm. Personal Linda loved writing and being creative and wanted to travel the entire world. But it was as if the two were in a distant relationship, and never communicated.
Over time this took its toll, until eventually I realised living two separate lives was exhausting, even disingenuous. So instead of hiding one half from the other, I decided to change my activity to align both halves.
The trouble is when you’re lost in the woods, it sometimes takes you a while to realise that you are lost.
It takes you a while to realise that you are living two separate lives.
For the longest time, you can convince yourself that you’ve just wandered a few feet off the path, that you’ll find your way back to the trailhead any moment now. Then night falls again and again, and you still have no idea where you are, and its time to admit that you have bewildered yourself so far off the path that you don’t even know from which direction the sun rises anymore.
But there is a light at the end of the tunnel: we all know this. Even when it’s hard to find, we know it’s there, just beyond the bend.
So we shouldn’t give up.
We ought not to simply “go with the flow”, then. Going with the flow is nice and easy for a while, riding the current wherever it might take us – but eventually everyone ends up at the same place: the rapids. And then, unprepared, we’re in for a world of hurt.
I don’t know about you, but I want an extraordinary life not just a ‘normal’ life.
And I am beginning to understand more and more that an extraordinary life doesn’t just happen. It is constructed, crafted, curated.
An extraordinary life – a life to be proud of – is a decision. Not a single decision, but a myriad of little decisions each day.
So here I am constructing, crafting and creating.
Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing here, I admit it.
But, I have always been the type of person who puts her whole heart into her beliefs. When I take on a particular ideal or way of life, I make the most of it. I do this to a fault. I have such high expectations of myself that I often expect perfection, which is probably why I stress out easier than most and why I have more anxiety than most.
But I wouldn’t have it any other way. What else would the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back to where I came from because I didn’t have the courage to say “yes” to life?”………..