I might regret doing this……
You know what, what have I got to lose by writing this – nothing.
They say there is power in the tongue, so how stupid am I not to confess everyday, everything I want from MY life! Too often I am scared to really admit to people, actually scratch that. Let me start again! Too often I am scared to admit to MYSELF all the things I wish, for my life.
So that is exactly what I am going to do today. This is a letter to me, not to you, but to ME. I must be held accountable somehow and I know that by writing this I will be. I want to be able to look back on this post with joy at how much I have achieved and for the things I didn’t achieve I want to be able to honestly know that I didn’t achieve it because I didn’t want to NOT because I couldn’t.
I write this post on the way to Miami. I am not saying this to show off, like who the fuck cares seriously. I am saying this because booking this trip was one of the most spontaneous things I have done in life. How pathetic is that? I literally decided to go about a week ago, just ’cause. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I plan everything, that’s me by nature – I can’t help it. I have tried. People say that I am lucky, people say that I am blessed. All of which are true. But please don’t be fooled, I worked fucking hard to get to this point in my life. I really did. I struggled. I sacrificed. I planned.
The irony of this, is that the life I planned all those years ago – I no longer want it. I have tried pretending that I still do. I DON’T. The truth is the best moments in my life have been unplanned! I bet that’s the same for you? Feel free to say that I am wrong. I dare you!
Here’s my list of spontaneous moments;
1. Going to Sheffield University – unplanned
2. Falling in love – definitely unplanned (funny story there but won’t bore you now with it lol)
3. Being a youth leader to a bunch of fantastic people
4. Travelling around the world in 80 days – unplanned
5. Starting this blog – unplanned
6. Going to Miami – unplanned
7. Quitting my job – unplanned
You can’t tell me that it’s a coincidence that these series of unplanned events just so happened to be the best bits of my life. Or can you? This list is wonderful but do you know the problem with it? It’s too short. If I wrote you a list of all the planned things in my life – trust me it would take you ages to read! My Babi always tells me to be more spontaneous, but I find it so uncomfortable. However, every time I do end up being spontaneous, I have NO regrets, I learn more about myself!
I realised I haven’t yet spoken about the list I was talking about at the start, but I also realise that this post is already long so I am going to cut it off her but at least you guys have the context and I will publish part 2 on Thursday.
Let me know your thoughts by leaving your comments below.