19/07/16
Have you ever felt the foundations of your life crumble and it feels like there’s no way out?
I know I may be going a tad overboard but that’s how I felt yesterday.
It wasn’t a great day for me.
I woke up late after too little sleep (we had our 7-month-old niece with us this weekend and she cried for like 2 hours straight during the night, which was exhausting).
I was supposed to be up at 6am to go to the gym before heading to the office but ended up waking up at 8:41 leaving me with literally only 19 minutes to get ready and skipping the gym altogether.
Someone I love let me down again and doesn’t seem to want to open up, which put me in a crap mood.
I couldn’t get focused on writing, so I didn’t post, as I normally do on a Monday.
My flat felt empty after my niece left, it felt like something was missing.
I did a workout in the evening, but couldn’t finish it, because I was so tired.
I had lunch with my friend, which was nice, but she shared some bad news with me, so that made me sort of sad for her.
It wasn’t a great day, and my mood descended as I thought about how many things I had on my to do list, and albeit I was getting things done through the day, it just felt like there was not enough time in the day to do it all!
Some days, you don’t have anything. Some days, you don’t knock it out of the park.
On a day like this, I sat still. It was all I could do.
I looked inwards and faced the hurt.
I stayed with it, just giving it my attention.
I noticed the story I was telling myself, that was causing the pain. It wasn’t a good story.
The more I got stuck telling myself this story, the more I was stuck in the pain.
So I turned to the present moment and allowed myself to feel the pain, instead of running from it, pushing it away, or trying to do something to end it.
It wasn’t so bad. And it didn’t stay around much longer, now that I allowed myself to sit with the hurt.
In the middle of all of this seeming solidness, there’s nothing; just a fluid present moment.
After turning and facing my feelings, staying with them, and seeing the nothingness in the middle of it all … everything was OK.
Not brilliant, but not so bad.
Some days, you have nothing, but that’s OK.
And now today is a new day so I get to start all over again, for which I am thankful for!
I know I can’t be the only one who has a bad day – would love to hear any tips you may have for overcoming days like that?
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