I have to write hard and clear about what hurts. By doing this, I have found closure in areas of my life.
So this is what I am going to do.
It may not mean much to you. But, every now and again, the memories of my childhood flash through my mind, disrupting my thoughts in quick-fire succession.
I still remember seeing red notices dropping through the front door. It was riddled with legal wording threatening that didn’t mean much to me but I knew it couldn’t have been good.
My parents were momentarily defeated by circumstances and the way I saw it was that the lack of a financial structure only compounded the problem. It was not a pretty sight.
“If this is what marriage looks like (two adults arguing over money while struggling to raise seven children), I don’t want nothing to do with it”, I thought to myself then.
Well, here I am, writing this with a ring on my finger.
I knew that for this to work, I had to set the fundamentals right from the very beginning – transparency, communication and trust. I knew that if I wanted a better marriage, I had to do what I saw my parents did not.
It means that at some level, my husband and I have to be on the same page.
For a start, for those who know him, you know he’s not a fan of the rat cage and its vicious cycle. He warned me before I started on the corporate treadmill but I didn’t listen! I always thought I knew best.
So like most married couples, we had ‘the talk’ about finances, bills and responsibilities to which we decided that combining our finances would be the best move for us. What’s mine is his and what’s his is mine (as cliche as that may sound, it’s true). By adopting this stance, it really makes us feel like we are in this together whichever way this goes. It is not to say it can’t work another way. Each to their own – right?
But for me, at the end of the day, if you choose to dance with a partner, it takes more than coordinated steps to tango.
It selfishly demands the ability of one to let go…to fall, with eyes closed – knowing that the other will be there to catch you.
This is probably why financial peace matters most to me.
Just thought I would share 🙂
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