For a while, I have been toiling with how I could address this topic, in the right way because I am not one to bring negativity on this blog.
And finally last night it hit me….I just have to be straight.
Say it as it is.
Something I am very used to doing in this little space I call home 🙂
I was inspired to write this post following an experience my sister went through just recently (long story short, someone who she thought was a ‘ride of die’ friend turned out not to be), and I was giving her some advice based on my past experiences, and it dawned on me that a lot of people must go through the let down of a friend at some point in their lives.
Why? Because we all have friendships.
And no matter how old we get, false friends can put deep scars on our hearts and big dents in our confidence.
I have known this truth for as long as I have tried to make a friend or two, but each time I face it, I feel a sting.
It is only natural to feel hurt when we are wronged, I still feel stupid for getting wronged so many times!
Fake friends are often confused for a good friend because we interact with them on a regular basis. However, if we were to assess the value these interactions add to our lives, we would soon see that these people do not have a positive impact.
In most cases, you do not need to cut off contact with your fake friends. You simply need to reprioritise the relationship and give them less of your energy. This is obviously the preferable solution (albeit not always possible or worthwhile).
People change over time, and so do relationships. You can change how your relationship works—be it marriage, friendship, or family—without completely ditching the relationship. I think it is important to stress this.
4 few things I have learned about dealing with fake friends that I thought would be worthwhile sharing are the following;
Friendships are great when they are mutually satisfying and respectful.
Enjoy people whenever you can, but take caution to never get lost in your desire for friendship. It’s normal to want a friend but do you really want a fake friend?
These fake friends drain your emotions by regularly dumping their problems on you. As a good friend, you are happy to listen to your friends in their times of need but these people take advantage of that good nature.
Every time that they have an issue with something in their life, they will be in touch with you. To make matters worse, they will happily share their problems but they will rarely do anything to resolve them. They just want somewhere to dump their problems so that they can feel as if they have done something about them.
Adding insult to injury, the emotional drain doesn’t like to eat where they shit. They don’t like to share their good times with the same people that they share their bad times.
That’s not fair.
So if there is one thing I would love for you to take from this post is to reprioritise those friendships.
Do you have any experience of dealing with fake people, how did you handle it? I want us all trying to help each other. I am sure there are other tips I may have missed out.
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