I Grew Tired

I grew tired of being someone I was not.

I grew tired of trying to convince myself that there weren’t parts of me filled with sadness and anger.

I grew tired of ignoring myself and violating my raw emotions.

I grew tired of trying to hide all the tombstones in my eyes.

I grew so tired that I lost myself almost for good this time.

I had allowed other people to convince me that my scars would never be loved.

I allowed outdated teachings that didn’t resonate with my depths to convince me that in order to lead a truly prosperous life I would have to hide all my wounds.

I grew convinced that the only way to survive was to forget my past, my childhood, and ignore all the terrible news in the world.

How could I be happy and carry such huge burdens and such painful memories?

I found that trying to attain emotional and spiritual perfection only made my wounds grow larger and deeper.

I found that loving myself through the winters of my heart is my greatest survival kit.

I found that loving my monsters as much as I loved my angels gave me great strength and power.

I learned how to tolerate myself and be patient in the moments where I hated myself, hated people who have hurt me, and hated the world.

I have learned that anger is as necessary as compassion.

And by loving every aspect of myself I get through storms with much more ease. Loving every aspect of yourself makes you fearless.

If you could face your demons, you can face anything. If you could love yourself in your darkest hour, you could love anything.

If you could stand under the clouds of your most violent rains you will attract someone who is strong enough to stand in them with you.

I genuinely believe that.

Hope you have a beautiful day

Love Lychee

x

*shared with love, written by Runelazuli