I know when you read the title, your first thought is probably, “so, so what, so am I”. But notice how I said thought; This right here being the operative word! Many a times we find ourselves in situations that we are uncomfortable with and that brings forth insecurities. Whilst we may admit these insecurities to ourselves, we often don’t admit these to those around us. In fact when we get accused of being insecure about that very thing we get VERY defensive, or is that just me? By us not sharing our insecurities with those we trust, believe it or not this causes us to be more insecure about that insecurity! Go figure!
So today, I am sharing with you one of my major insecurities! Here it goes…..(deep breath)….I am insecure………about the colour of my skin. This might seem odd to label it as an insecurity, but let me explain to you what I mean by this. First and foremost in no way am I ashamed of the colour of my skin – so let’s get that out in the open! As I mentioned in a previous post, I attended a predominately white secondary school. Being in this environment as I said, made me more conscious about race. What I failed to mention in that post was that by attending a school like this i grew insecure about being known or being seen as ‘different’ to the majority. I wanted to fit in. University however was different. There were many people there from different backgrounds – so I didn’t have this problem at all. But then I entered into the corporate world and the insecurity came back again. The difference with this experience compared to my secondary school experience, was that I was more knowledgeable and so I began to express this insecurity to those around me. Before, I tried to pretend that this insecurity didn’t exist and to be honest, I felt like I was playing a role in a movie, not a very good one though lol. Now, I am ok with people recognising the colour of my skin. In fact, as uncomfortable as it is to admit this, sometimes I think it works in my favour. I do recognise that I am one of the few to be able to ‘benefit’ from my insecurity, as I know some are discriminated against for this very same thing. Disclaimer: Not going to go in detail but if you want to hear more about my opinion on this, leave a comment and let me know.
If there is a takeaway to this post, I hope it’s that we all feel more comfortable acknowledging and proclaiming the power of insecurities in our perceived successes and our perceived failures.