That’s become a more important question as I’ve gotten older.
I think listening to my instincts and then following them. Having a certain quiet to do that.
What do I need? It might just be that I need food, or that I need to stretch or take a breath. Instincts are essential to being a good parent. If you’re not attuned to them, everything basically goes wrong.
I think it’s really important to try things. I remember worrying about what I was going to be… Life is actually really long, you can try something for a year or six months or three months or two years and then change. You just shouldn’t be afraid to do something and not like it.
If you do really work hard you always get skills. In my first jobs, I was barely even doing finance. I was mostly serving customers. But that’s an amazing life skill you can take anywhere. You’re basically figuring out how to make anything happen under any circumstances, and that’s an amazing asset.
When you do decide that you want to do something – find heroes. That’s one of the only regrets I have–not working with enough of the heroes when the bar of entry was so accessible to me. Find heroes and while you aren’t working for a lot of money, knock on their doors and try to work with them. Obviously, try to make yourself as relevant and presentable to them as possible.
I like to have a calm mind. I like being able to fill it with what I desire; put my energy toward creative ideas rather than useless, exhausting cycles of stress.
So that’s what I’m learning right now. I’m approaching a new level, the level of experience and letting go.
Understanding that we can’t control everything, or that the only thing we can control is the energy we put out into the world, into our projects, into our lives.
And right now, thanks to experience, I’m finally realising that I cannot be responsible for the happiness of others. I can’t control my successes and failures, but I can give the best of myself and then detach completely from the result. I can’t control what people think of me, even if I’m perfect, above all reproach, ideal. Which I’ll never be, not any more than anyone else.
The only thing I can really do is be comfortable with myself and honest with others. Make peace with myself and my flaws and offer the same thing to the people around me. Let them be. Love them as they are. Let ourselves be.
Somewhere, deep down, you have to be a little selfish, actually. Slightly nonchalant.
I would have loved to learn this as my very first lesson, honestly.
I would have loved to be born that way, understanding all this from the beginning. That would have saved me years of coming up against walls, wanting to be understood & loved, and trying to stick to the norm. I would have loved knowing sooner that peace, love, joy – all of it comes from inside, never from the mirror others hold up to us.
Even though I read so many things on this subject, there’s one thing that has no substitute: time and experience. Try as you may, life just isn’t something that can be learned in books.
I would have liked to know all that, but even so, I actually want to thank my worries. They made it so painful for me when I was getting away from my truest self that thanks to them, I was finally able to find my way.
Don’t forget to subscribe to Asklychee via email above.