Where do I even begin without getting too emotional?
It’s November 2017. I have officially stopped working (if that is ever possible for me) and I am in the final stretch of pregnancy.
With a little over a month left to go, time has seemed to slow down.
My third-trimester fatigue has heightened, and both me and baby have grown immensely over the past eight months and some change.
I feel really good these days. Content. Happy. Satisfied that I have found a new meaning of creating a home, not only for another human being but for myself.
The older I get, the more I understand that finding myself (entirely) plays a significant part in living freely, authentically, and intentionally.
There is no way to create a haven within if pieces of me are still lost, scattered, and in hiding. This pregnancy has opened my eyes to that, way more than before. Perhaps it’s because I have so much extra time on my hands that thinking and sleeping are pretty much all I do.
I have been forced to make even more shifts and changes during my solitude as I prepare to welcome a new life into our family.
Through my journey to self, I have found myself stuck in certain aspects, particularly, when it comes to forgiveness. Quite a few emotional things from my past have resurfaced that I wasn’t prepared to deal with, especially during this time. But of course, that is how it always works. Our things come to the surface when we least expect or want them to.
And being a control freak over my life and what happens in it (how unrealistic is that?!) doesn’t make tackling those two things an easy task. Nevertheless, as I move through this pregnancy with a new found sense of home and awareness, I am also learning to walk through forgiveness in a way that is more intentional. This isn’t easy but I am trying.
Growth and change are not always fun. For me, 9 times out of 10 I struggle with the two. Being uncomfortable is not my favourite thing in the world, but what I have learned on this ever-evolving journey is that I have the power to shift and shape my life. And so do you.
We only have a little more time left before our entire world shifts and we welcome this baby—so I am soaking it all in.